I only want to speak fluently. Any recommendations?

I’m half chinese and half african. I’m 27 now and realised that I’ve wasted my whole life not being able to speak fluently with my family. I’ve got new babies in the family now and I’d really love to be able to talk to them and be an aunty they can relate to.

I just want to be able to speak fluently, not read or write. I can understand 70% of conversation but I just cannot speak! It’s a combination of not knowing what to say and embarrassment about a black girl speaking chinese (since other chinese people always made fun of my skin tone and hair growing up).

I’ve been trying to learn with apps but progress is slow and it’s not forcing me to practice speaking. I could try to speak with my family but I just feel so humiliated at how dumb I must sound.

Any recommended textbooks or online programmes to help with my speaking? HSK textbooks?

submitted by /u/Amateurcellist92
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