For a bit of background, I have been studying Chinese passionately and rigorously for more than 13 years (formally starting at the age of 8). I'm at a point where I can engage in deep, intellectual one-on-one conversations, read young adult sci-fi novels at a rate of 6 minutes per page, navigate and absorb Chinese media flawlessly, and travel across China using only Chinese, but just today I had a hotpot hangout with some roommates and their friends, totaling six people including myself. For every 20 syllables that came out of their mouths (Mandarin), I understood maybe one. I stopped straining my ears halfway through to understand what they were saying, and in the end, I barely said anything. I'm very weak when it comes to using Chinese in a group of people.
I'm just asking for advice. Obviously, getting good in this area requires a lot of practice in this area. How are you supposed to become the type of person who's brave enough to speak Chinese and embarrass himself in social situations many times a day, every single day, for several years, just to get good in this area? This is how practice gets done, and I don't see how anyone could have the balls and the mental endurance to do that. I have had multiple experiences like the one above in the past. I used to get frustrated with myself, but now, I'm used to it. For now, I'm resolving to completely abandon improving my Chinese speaking and listening - I will, however, continue to read in Chinese, because that's the only area with a reasonable work : reward ratio (even then, I read for the sake of reading, not for the sake of Chinese). The career that lies ahead of me has nothing to do with Chinese, so making efforts to improve my speaking/listening would be unwise.
Does anyone else have similar experiences? If so, what are your thoughts, and what advice would you give? I don't want people here claiming to be "fluent" just because they can talk about the weather with the lady cashier at a Chinese restaurant - I'm talking about being able to tell stories, catch jokes, flirt, and respond to questions off the hook within a group of other 21 year-olds. That's what American college students do every day in English, and we do it like it's a hot knife cutting through butter. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks~
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